It’s weekly Joke time once more.  This week’s theme is about what a lot of parents are facing this time of year, “Back to School”.

The first two jokes were taken from a site filled with jokes and humor, Will and Guy’s clean jokes, Short stories and Funny Pictures.

But Mom….I don’t want to go

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’
‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’

‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’
‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’

‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’
‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’

‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Head teacher!’

What the Experts say

• Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.  Norman Douglas
• Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it.  Stephen Vizinczey
• Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.  BF Skinner
• If little else, the brain is an educational toy.  Tom Robbins
• America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.  Evan Esar

One Liners

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

Mom: How did you find school today?
Kid: I simply hopped off the bus – and there it was!

Kid: I think we need a new teacher!
Mom: Why is that?
Kid: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers!

Little Johnny

Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.

Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.

“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!”

The Student

“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

I didn’t do my homework because…

*I didn’t do my history homework because I don’t believe in dwelling on the past.

*I didn’t want the other kids in the class to look bad.

*It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don’t want to know the details.

*I felt it wasn’t challenging enough.

*We had homework?!

*I didn’t want to add to your already heavy workload.

*I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.